Bathroom #34: The BoardWalk “It Exists” Bathroom
The bathroom is just there.
This bathroom is fine.
That’s it.
That’s the review.
Okay, fine, I will explain more.
This bathroom is the definition of a blah bathroom.
It is adequate.
It gets the job done.
There is nothing amazing about it.
There is nothing horribly wrong with it.
It is just… there.
This is the vanilla ice cream of bathrooms.
Not vanilla bean.
Not fancy vanilla with caramel drizzle and Mickey sprinkles.
Just plain vanilla.
You will walk inside, use it, leave, and five minutes later completely forget this bathroom ever happened.
The Story
The best thing about this bathroom?
The location.
And honestly, that is a pretty important thing.
This bathroom is tucked away in a corner at Disney’s BoardWalk, across from the arcade and right near the pool.
So when you are walking around the BoardWalk, enjoying your pizza, living your best Disney life, and suddenly your body announces…
“Excuse me. We have a situation.”
Good news.
The bathroom is right there.
And sometimes that is all you need from a bathroom.
The Outside
The outside of this bathroom confuses me.
For some reason, it reminds me of an older, weathered shed.
I know.
I know.
The BoardWalk theme, according to my youngest, is a roaring twenties American ocean town.
And I understand what Disney was going for.
Kind of.
But sometimes the theme gets a little lost.
The one thing you will notice about the outside door is the handle.
The door handle is boring too.
It looks like you need a key to get inside.
You don’t.
Just open the door.
Also…
Why is the handle crooked?
I have questions.
Inside the Bathroom
It is a strange mash-up.
I have used this bathroom many, many times.
And I will give credit where credit is due.
This is actually a great bathroom when you really need a bathroom.
During a Crohn’s flare.
During an emergency.
During one of those “please let there not be a line” moments.
This bathroom delivers.
It usually is not crowded.
There are multiple stalls.
Nobody is standing there waiting for you.
And every time I have needed it, it has been open.
The inside?
Confusing.
I understand the wall tile.
It gives me old-fashioned ice cream parlor vibes.
That fits.
But then I look down.
Navy blue floor tiles?
Why?
Anything Special?
Not really.
And that’s okay.
Not every Disney bathroom can be a masterpiece.
Some bathrooms are the main character.
Some bathrooms are just there to help the main character.
This bathroom is the helpful side character.
The Official Ruling
The Situation: Convenient BoardWalk bathroom near the pool and arcade
Cold Air: Good. The air conditioning does its job.
Stalls: Enough for the amount of people using it
Paper: Standard Disney bathroom paper situation
Flush: Works fine
Noise: Usually calm
Smell: No complaints
Handwashing: Gets the job done
Decor: Confusing and forgettable
Crowds: Usually quiet, which is its biggest victory
Overall Comfort: Surprisingly useful
Final Verdict
This bathroom is not magical.
No birds are singing.
No fireworks are going off.
No one is walking out saying, “Wow, I need to tell everyone about that bathroom.”
But it is clean.
It is calm.
The air conditioning works.
And when you really need a bathroom, it is there waiting for you.
Sometimes being dependable is enough.
A boring bathroom can still be a good bathroom.
