Bathroom #7: The Green One (Proceed With Caution) and Bathroom #8: The Red One (Same Story, Different Paint)
It’s green…
The Story
These two bathrooms are almost exactly alike.
It is honestly a little awe-inducing… in the worst possible way.
They are both terrible, horrible, no good, very bad bathrooms.
The only difference? The outside color. That’s it. No plot twist. No hidden magic.
If you walk to the right of Spaceship Earth, you get the green one.
And congratulations… you have entered the same chaos.
These bathrooms are the first ones guests see when walking into EPCOT, which raises a very important question:
Why are they like this?
They are too small. Too crammed. Too loud. There is always, always a line.
The kind of line where you start reconsidering your entire life plan.
They are also… not clean. And I don’t say that lightly. With the constant flood of people, there is just no way to keep up. It feels like the poor janitorial team has looked around, sighed, and accepted their fate.
It hasn’t worked in months!
And the smell.
We need to talk about the smell.
It is not subtle. It is not shy. It is fully present and making itself known.
My kids would cry if they had to use this bathroom. Full sensory overload. Noise, crowd, smell, chaos… it is a lot.
And I swear the toilet paper is worse here. I know, logically, that cannot be true.
But in my heart… I believe it.
There is also a companion bathroom nearby, which sounds promising. Except it has developed a reputation for… let’s call it “extended private use.”
So it is not reliable either.
This bathroom is not a welcome. It is a warning.
The Details
Location: EPCOT, right side of Spaceship Earth
Nearest Landmark: Just past the entrance, to the right of Spaceship Earth
Time of Day Visited: Park opening chaos
Crowd Level: Chaos
Anything Special?
Technically, there is a companion restroom… but it is not dependable for quick access. Proceed with caution and adjusted expectations.
The Official Ruling 🚽
Situation: Absolutely Avoid
Cold Air Test: What Air Conditioning?
Stall Experience: Cozy (Not in a Good Way)
Paper Situation: Disintegrates on Contact
Flush Situation: Emotionally Unsettling
Overall Vibe: Sensory Overload Starter Pack
Final Verdict
This is not the magical beginning of your EPCOT day.
This is the moment you realize… you should have gone before you got here.
Avoid if at all possible. Protect your peace. Protect your nose. 🚽
Bathroom #8: The Red One (Same Story, Different Paint)
It’s red…
The Story
Now let’s talk about its twin.
Because of course there is a twin.
If you walk to the left of Spaceship Earth, you will find the red version of the exact same experience.
And when I say exact… I mean exact.
Same size. Same crowd. Same noise. Same smell. Same overwhelming sense that things have gone slightly off the rails.
The only difference is the color on the outside.
That’s it. That’s the entire personality shift.
This bathroom suffers from the exact same issues. It is too small for the volume of people entering the park. It is constantly packed. There is always a line. It is loud in a way that feels like your brain is being gently shaken.
And again… the cleanliness struggles. Not because people don’t care, but because there are simply too many people moving through too quickly.
It never gets a break.
The smell? Still there. Still committed to the bit.
The toilet paper? Still suspicious.
The companion restroom? Still… not dependable.
I don’t want to know what goes on in there!
It is like Disney built one chaotic bathroom and then said, “You know what? Let’s do it twice.”
The Details
Location: EPCOT, left side of Spaceship Earth
Nearest Landmark: Just past the entrance, to the left of Spaceship Earth
Time of Day Visited: Park opening chaos
Crowd Level: Chaos
Anything Special?
The only special feature is that it perfectly mirrors the green one. A true commitment to symmetry… just not the kind we were hoping for.
The Official Ruling 🚽
Situation: Absolutely Avoid
Cold Air Test: What Air Conditioning?
Stall Experience: Cozy (Not in a Good Way)
Paper Situation: Disintegrates on Contact
Flush Situation: Emotionally Unsettling
Overall Vibe: Copy-Paste Chaos
Final Verdict
If Bathroom #7 is the warning… Bathroom #8 is the confirmation.
These are not hidden gems. These are not “good in a pinch.”
These are “walk faster and keep going” bathrooms.
Your EPCOT day deserves a better beginning. 🚽✨
