Around the World in Search of a Bathroom
Next stop on The Great Disney Bathroom Quest: EPCOT World Showcase 🚽🌍
The countries!
For this series, I am only reviewing bathrooms that regular people can just wander into without a reservation, a hostess, or emotional support.
Restaurant bathrooms are currently off limits.
Those are advanced level bathrooms.
They will be reviewed another day when I am mentally prepared and possibly carrying bread service.
These are the easy bathrooms.
The dependable bathrooms.
The “I suddenly drank too much Beverly” bathrooms.
We are starting in Mexico because friends don’t let friends begin in Canada and spend the next 45 minutes aggressively power walking backwards around World Showcase.
Instead of drinking around the world like classy adults, we will be examining bathrooms like deeply concerned investigators.
And immediately… the journey took a dramatic turn.
Mexico does not have a public bathroom.
Outpost does not have a public bathroom.
Italy also does not have a public bathroom.
I KNOW.
I was stunned.
Confused.
Personally betrayed.
Both Mexico and Italy hide their bathrooms inside restaurants like tiny plumbing speakeasies.
Which means they cannot officially compete in this current chapter of The Great Bathroom Quest.
The Outpost doesn’t have any bathrooms.
Rules are rules.
And the rules of The Great Disney Bathroom Quest are very clear.
If the bathroom is hidden inside a restaurant, behind a hostess stand, or requires me to awkwardly pretend I am “just looking around,” it cannot compete.
That means Mexico is out.
Italy is out.
Both countries only have restaurant bathrooms, which feels like a bold choice considering the amount of walking happening around EPCOT World Showcase.
And the Outpost?
Nothing.
No bathroom.
Not even the illusion of a bathroom.
You just walk through there hoping your bladder remains emotionally stable until the next country.
So for now, Mexico, Italy, and the Outpost have all been officially eliminated from public bathroom contention.
The judges have spoken. 🚽🌍✨
And to make matters even more dramatic, my absolute favorite bathroom on Disney property was CLOSED.
The legendary bathroom between England and Canada could not even compete in this challenge because it was locked behind gates like Disney was hiding state secrets.
Closed.
Silent.
Unavailable to the people.
Honestly, if you ever walk by and see that bathroom open, stop everything immediately.
Cancel your Lightning Lane.
Buy a lottery ticket.
Call your family.
Because that bathroom being open is rarer than a calm family exiting Test Track. 🚽✨
And so our journey around the world begins.
Not with fireworks.
Not with snacks.
Not with tequila in Mexico.
But with me aggressively judging bathrooms one pavilion at a time.
Some will be magical.
Some will be concerning.
Some will make me question Disney’s relationship with toilet paper.
But together, we march onward around World Showcase in search of the perfect bathroom.
One flush at a time. 🚽🌍✨
