Magic Kingdom Resorts Championship: The Great Disney Challenge

Five resorts.

24 bathrooms.

Five champions.

And now I have to do the impossible.

Declare one bathroom the winner.

What a journey.

There were beautiful bathrooms.

Boring bathrooms.

Bathrooms with glorious air conditioning.

Bathrooms that made me question Disney’s decision-making process.

But each resort had one champion.

And now those five champions must battle it out for the ultimate title:

Best Bathroom at the Magic Kingdom Resorts.

I’m ranking them from worst to best.

And please remember...

Being the worst of the best is still pretty darn good.

#5 Contemporary Conference Center Bathroom

You guessed it.

The Contemporary comes in at number five.

This is the best of the worst.

Which sounds mean.

But somebody had to be number five.

I really like this bathroom because it is quiet.

It is hidden.

It is peaceful.

But...

There just isn't much happening in here.

The most interesting thing about this bathroom is the faucets.

Yes.

The faucets.

When the faucets are carrying the entire design team on their backs, we have a problem.

It is a good bathroom.

Just not a champion of champions.

Final Ranking: #5

#4 Underneath Wilderness Lodge

I really like this bathroom.

Actually, I really, really like this bathroom.

I love the pathway you take to get there.

I love its location.

I love that it feels tucked away from everything.

And then there is...

THE SOAP.

That glorious, wonderful soap.

I am apparently ranking Disney bathrooms partly on soap now.

This is who I have become.

But as much as I love this bathroom, the theming just isn't there.

This is Wilderness Lodge!

Give me wilderness!

Give me logs!

Give me bears!

Give me something!

The bathroom itself is wonderful.

The design just needed a little more Wilderness Lodge sprinkled on top.

Final Ranking: #4

#3 Polynesian DVC Inside Bathroom

Now we are getting into dangerous territory.

Because I love this bathroom.

It is gorgeous.

I love the mirrors.

I love the table outside.

I love the overall design.

But those black tiles...

Pretty?

Absolutely.

Polynesian?

Not really.

They could be in a fancy hotel almost anywhere.

And the music was just a little too loud for me.

I don't need my bathroom visit to have a soundtrack at full volume.

Still...

This is a gorgeous bathroom.

It just had the unfortunate luck of competing against my final two.

Final Ranking: #3

#2 Fort Wilderness Pioneer Hall Bathroom

This decision hurt.

My heart wanted this bathroom to win.

Because...

COWBOYS.

How do you go wrong with a cowboy-themed bathroom?

You don't.

Then add that beautiful, glorious, cold, cold air conditioning?

I was ready to hand over the crown.

But I promised myself I would try to be logical.

Which is very inconvenient.

Two toilet stalls weren't working when I visited.

The design has a few flaws.

And I can only imagine how busy this bathroom gets before and after the Hoop-Dee-Doo Musical Revue.

So I had to put my cowboy-loving heart aside.

This is a number two bathroom.

And I mean that strictly as a ranking.

Although that sentence is admittedly unfortunate when discussing bathrooms.

Final Ranking: #2

🥁 Drumroll Please...

We have reached the winner.

Five resorts.

24 bathrooms.

And one sparkly champion.

#1 Grand Floridian Lobby Bathroom

This is it.

The best bathroom at the Magic Kingdom resorts.

The Grand Floridian Lobby bathroom.

It is pretty.

It is sparkly.

It feels grand.

And it actually transports you somewhere.

You don't just walk into a bathroom.

You walk into another period of time.

I love the colors.

I love the details.

I love the mirrors.

But most of all...

I love the shape of this bathroom.

Who decided every toilet stall needed to be a rectangle?

Not the Grand Floridian.

These stalls twist and turn.

The sink area curves.

The entire bathroom has personality.

It feels special.

It feels intentional.

And it feels exactly like a bathroom that belongs inside the Grand Floridian.

So there you have it.

After five resorts and 24 bathrooms...

👑 The Grand Floridian Lobby Bathroom is officially the BEST bathroom at the Magic Kingdom resorts.

Long may she flush.